Hohoho.. I’m back with movie quotes. Finally forced myself to stay up to finish where I left off  “Love and Other Disasters” starring Brittany Murphy. Cute movie, cute cast. The storyline is simple and easy to follow; nothing that spirals you to confusion. But now it’s time for me to wonder why he insisted I watch this. I shall now look into the essence of the movie and decipher the message conveyed…. in my sleep. Goodnight babies.

Emily ‘Jacks’ Jackson: Stop living your life like you’re in some kind of movie.
Peter Simon: Excuse me?
Emily ‘Jacks’ Jackson: Stop trying to cast your love instead of just meeting him.
Peter Simon: When I meet him, I’ll know.
Emily ‘Jacks’ Jackson: I’m not so sure. Love isn’t always a lightning bolt, you know? Maybe sometimes it’s just a choice. Peter Simon: Well, that’s easy for you to say! You’re flying to Argentina to meet the love of your life!
Emily ‘Jacks’ Jackson: That’s just it. I don’t know that Paolo’s the love of my life, but I’ve decided to give him the chance to be. Maybe true love is a decision. You know, a decision to take a chance with somebody. To give to somebody. Without worrying whether they’ll give anything back. Or if they’re gonna hurt you, or if they really are the one. Maybe love isn’t something that happens to you. Maybe it’s something you have to choose.
Peter Simon: So what do I do?
Emily ‘Jacks’ Jackson: Well, you could start by putting all of those fantasies of true love where they belong, into your work of fiction.

I think I’ve given him the impression that I’m a sad case. He told me that he got something for me. I didn’t think he’d bother since I only got to know him about two months ago through a mutual friend. But I ended up with a book (on cupcakes, what a big fat hint for me to bake more I guess) and a card! You know those cards that start off with…

May everyday of your life

bring you fresh hopes for tomorrow,

because hope gives us all a reason for trying.

May each new day bring you a feeling of

excitement, joy and great sense of expectation,

because when you expect the best you often get it.

….

Sounds familiar?

I really appreciate the effort put in (shows what a great listener he is). Now I just hope he doesn’t drag me to church or something

For the sake of some of us out there who wish to be given a push sometimes, here’s the rest of the wordings on the card:

May you remember always the good times and forget the bad,

because the good times remind

you of how special you life has been.

May you always experience the good things in life -

the happiness of realizing your dreams,

the joy of feeling worthwhile,

and the satisfaction of knowing you have succeeded.

May you always feel loved,

have peace within your heart

and find faith and strength

to go through challenges

every day of your life.

That’s for you.

Some of us might think she has gone mental with her desperate attempt to seek pity and attention. Accuses. Lies. Betrayal. Disloyalty. And then there’s the slander; unintentional she claims but we all know there’s no such think as an unplanned attack. Kinda reminds me of someone who once said to me,

“I don’t mean to cucuk but…”

But it happened and I had a dozen of embedded bullets in me.

I digress. Let’s go back to the little girl. As much as I condemn ‘open letters’ (i.e. I’m gonna tell the whole world that my life is hell and I’ll drag a few people along to burn in eternity), I do understand her unfortunate plight. Odd? Well, I do somewhat.

Because there are people out there who would do anything for love. Or for love to happen. Everyone has a mini Meatloaf in them. (Referring to the singer, not your leftovers). They know they might stoop to the lowest level in the Hall of Shame. They know they would come off as desperate/insane/senile/unrealistic/stupid. They know that they are fighting a losing battle. But when a person truly wants something to work out or someone to be with, they would sacrifice their sanity. Even if it leads to name calling, unfair derogatory remarks and repeated rants.

It is so frustrating, no? 

There is a fine line of being passionate and unreasonably insane. But before you fit yourself to a swanky straightjacket: stop, take a deep breath and pull back. Ask yourself if it’s all worth it when in the end… your love could eventually transform to hatred.

Even Meatloaf had his limits. He’ll do anything for love.. but he won’t do that.

You thought that after many years of being together, you’d know a person. Unfortunately, it’s not always the case.

Change is inevitable and most often enough, we will learn to accept and encourage the transition of another person. If and only if… it is for the better.  But for some, it has come to the point that they have submerged themselves so deeply into a newer and more exciting lifestyle that they leave the person they were behind.

Are you happier now? Are you living a life you’ve always wanted? Or is that just a facade you put up to hide your fears and insecurities? Is this the image you’ve created to respond to the artificial love that surrounds you now?

I thought people were smarter than that. Guess I’ve already lost the person I once knew.

I’m lucky because I have them… 

(and no, I don’t know what Q.dek means!)

Currently reading: The Zahir by Paulo Coelho

“….. Zahir, in Arabic, means visible, present, incapable of going unnoticed. It is someone or something which, once we have come into contact with them or it, gradually occupies our every thought, until we can think of nothing else. This can be considered either a state of holiness or of madness.” Faubourg Saint-Peres

“For a while, I’ll think obsessively about her, I’ll become embittered, I’ll bore my friends because all I ever talk about is my wife leaving me. I’ll try to justify what happened, spend days and nights reviewing every moment spent by her side, I’ll conclude that she was too hard on me, even though I always tried to do my best. I’ll find other women. When I walk down the street, I’ll keep seeing women who could be her. I’ll suffer day and night, night and day. This could take weeks, months, possibly a year or more.

Until one morning, I’ll wake up and find I’m thinking about something else, and then I’ll know the worst is over. My heart might be bruised, but it will recover, and become capable of seeing the beauty of life once more. It’s happened before, it will happen again, I’m sure. When someone leaves, it’s because someone else is about to arrive — I’ll find love again.” Paulo Coelho

Also known as.. Valentine’s Day.

Mom: Are you coming back for dinner tonight?

Dreymer: Yessss.. why? Are you cooking?

Mom: Umm.. eh, you do know that it’s Valentine’s Day tonight or not?

Dreymer: Oh yah horrr….. umm… so what’s for dinner?

I didn’t quite forget that it’s the dreaded V-day today. I was woken up by SMS-es at ungodly hours wishing me happy Val’s. Not an invitation to go out but just to wish. How very, very nice and thoughtful. SMS very cheap now is it?! Basket.

This is my first year not celebrating V-day. After a couple of years of being attached and always having a plan for the 14th, so this is how it feels like to be single! Ahh.. so desu ne! Don’t worry, I am not going to lash out any anger or jealousy or burn down any building ala Stephen King’s Carrie. I’ve always liked V-day no matter how many times I’ve heard others comment that it’s ‘overrated’, ‘commercialized’, ‘V-day should be everyday’ blah blah blah. You can say all you want but if your gf or bf did something special for you today, you’ll love it, wouldn’t you? V-day is so cheesy! NICE!

Don’t get me wrong, media planners! I am probably the worst person to target for such ‘gimmick’ because I believe that V-day is supposed to be SIMPLE. I think that to achieve simplicity, it takes more thought and effort. It shouldn’t be a day planned by chefs or a chocolate marketing team.

Simple can be easy if you remember why you are with her in the first place. Once you’ve established the reason, whatever you say… whatever you do… how you look at her in the eyes would all come out naturally. If she’s particularly meticulous and has that attention to details, the emotional connection is more than money can buy. Even a Titanium card has its limits.

Some people would like to get a Prada. Some people wouldn’t mind appearing front page with 999 roses. Some silly girls like me just like to be reminded why we love and why we are loved. This sentimental trait in me will kill me one day but hey, I love the giddiness of being in love.

Oh gosh. I think I’ve just said out loud that I’ll make an el-cheapo date. *gulp*

Happy V!

I was in deep concentration. My face right-smacked in front of the monitor, my fingertips click-clacking away like as if they were in a marathon. Revenue! Expenditure! Share %! When suddenly, there was a soft, feminine voice on my left:

“Do you want to know what someone said about you?”

I jumped and gasped. It was not because of what was said that now sparked my curiousity but because I get very jumpy when I’m concentrating on something and I CAN totally block out everything else that’s happening around me. I’ve even broke my record last week for spilling coffee twice all over my table due to my over-jumpiness. But that’s not the point.

“What?!” I said

Ruby,  a colleague of mine, moved a step back after my initial jumpy reaction spoke in a calm and soft tone, “someone said that you look fresher* and better* everyday!” (*not her exact words but I didn’t want to be so perasan here la if you know what I mean)

Well, I know Ruby. The people that she works with… I can tell you honestly, not my cup of tea but this was an interesting bit.

“Oh really?” This was juicy enough to interrupt me from my work. I swivelled to my left and looked at her.

“Yes, that someone said that you must be in love.”

I laughed and in a cheery manner I replied, ”In love?! No way!”

Ruby wasn’t sure and I could tell it from her cheeky grin.  ”So… are you in love?”

I giggled and this time I turned back to my monitor, all ready to get lost in numbers, “No Ruby… I am not in love…. Unfortunately not!”

The conversation ended but I begun to wonder…

Maybe it’s my new haircut. Maybe I could finally sleep well. Maybe it was good thing that I was not in love…

Happy 4th Anniversary Dazel!

And many, many, many more to come.

You know that it’s almost the end of the year when everyone flies off for their vacation. The Barkers are Downunder and the Missus is running loose with the kangaroos. Ms Wong is now probably walking on the streets of Tsim Sha Tsui and rushing with the locals during the Christmas shopping sale. And then there’s everyone else who would be counting down the days to return home and spend Christmas with their family and friends.

The year has passed rather quickly. I remember when it was just mere days from bidding farewell to 2005 when conversations were laced with resolutions for 2006 started popping up. “I wanna do this, I wanna do that…” Plans. Resolutions. Wishes. Dreams. The whole future thingamajig.

I asked Elv what he achieved this year and without hesitation, he gave me two challenges he overcame. I’m happy for him. Actually I thought he should have added the 20km marathon which he FINISHED (the point is he completed the race, it’s not about the time which was f*** slow – (personal joke)) but maybe he would have said that if we extended our conversation. 

After his answer, I kept thinking, “please don’t ask me back.. I wouldn’t know what to say!” But of course, as good listeners are, they return the question back to me. I was beginning to get worried that I might not be able to say anything. But after some thought, it wasn’t so hard. I did get what I wanted this year and I named my two biggest achievements for 2006.

The whole night I was thinking on that same question – actually, there shouldn’t be only two. I think I achieved aplenty. It wasn’t anything big, wow or flashy. It was more of an achievement on a personal level and to me, that’s something big, wow and somewhat flashy! You see, I had those huge plans for 2006 but the masterplan failed and crumbled. Instead of mourning and drowning myself in self-pity, I picked myself up, looked over my shoulder, dusted myself off from the shattered dreams and walked away. It was a huge relief. My heart felt lighter, stronger and most important were the genuine people surrounding me that made all the difference.

So the biggest achievement – it isn’t solely on a career level and that I got my cute, spanking red car but to get up every morning and know that you deserve more. I think it’s so often that most of us forget our self-worth (and then there’s so often most of us think too much about ourselves but that’s a whole separate issue).

In the end, we are the ones to decide if we want to make a heart crunching experience a positive or negative one. I made mine positive